Enough

Yesterday I was sitting at the car dealership waiting for them to change my oil. After several minutes, the service guy came to tell me they had found an oil leak and it was going to be $900 to fix it as well as $300 to get my brakes replaced. After purchasing a house this summer finances have been extremely tight to say the least, so I haven't "caught up" as much as I would like. My first reaction to the news was "Lord, is it ever going to end? Can I please just catch a breath before the next wave hits?" After the guy left to get my car ready to leave I looked over at 2 older women who had brought one of their cars in for service. I do own a luxury car although it's an older model. So when these women came in they were carrying large shopping bags they had emptied from the car. A few minutes later both women had fallen asleep in their chairs. I couldn't help but wonder what it must be like to afford a newer luxury car and go shopping and buy what you want and not worry about the money. Would I ever reach the point that money wasn't a constant concern, that I didn't have to make the choice between paying my bills and buying a new cd every once in a while? Will I ever have enough? But before I could finish the thought it hit me. Is "enough" what I really, truly want? If I had enough money would I stop seeking God for provision and just rely on myself? If I had enough joy would I stop longing for more? If I had enough love would my heart be completely satisfied?

The past few days I have been following a blog about a young family whose newborn daughter has been fighting to live despite a terrible birth defect called Trisomy-18. Little Copeland was born not knowing how long she would live. God gave her 8 joyful days on this earth and she changed the hearts of many around the world including mine. She left this world for her heavenly home yesterday evening. You can visit her blog at
http://conorbootheandgirls.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html



Her parents and family knew their precious little girl might die before she was born or only have hours to live. So every moment was spent having someone holding her, watching her, pouring out abundant amounts love on her. Enough was not in their vocabulary. More than enough was. They were determined to give her even more love, even more joy, even more peace. In her short 8 days she didn't receive just enough love; she made her way into heaven carrying bags full of more than enough.



I guess where I find myself is asking "What do I really want?", "What I am living for?" Is it just enough to be comfortable, just enough to feel happy, just enough? If I am then that isn't enough. God created me to have an abundant life; not just a life of enough. He promises to meet my every need according to his riches in glory, not according to my bank account. He promises to fufill my every desire if I will wait on Him, not me wandering aimlessly seeking happiness in my own strength. He promises a feast prepared for me even in the midst of my enemies.



Will I always have enough money to pay my bills, enough joy to spill onto others' lives, enough love to share? Probably not but I know the One who does, the Everlasting, Ever-faithful, Ever-loving, Ever-merciful, Ever-abundant God of heaven. May I not be found wanting just enough but may my needs always outweigh my ability. For only then will I find myself at the feet of Jesus seeking more than enough.
enough